Healthcare stories

[florida80]

(Regrettably, our local university is the main reason that county STD rates are the second-highest in the state (the highest-ranking county is home to a naval base). Outbreaks are common and rather a grim joke with local healthcare providers. The county has purchased a new emergency radio system and one of their officers has arrived to train our staff on how to use the equipment.)

Instructor: “The great thing about this system is that it is linked to over two hundred towers, state-wide. This means that if you need to, you can communicate not only throughout the county, but with other jurisdictions as well. For example; let’s say you have to set up some kind of emergency clinic at the University for… I don’t know, what’s an epidemic that the students might experience there?”

Me: *without thinking* “Probably chlamydia.”

(My boss shushed me, but our director of nursing almost fell off her chair from laughing so hard.)

Pest Control Out Of Control

Pharmacy | Right | November 26, 2014


(I work at a local pharmacy.)

Customer: “I need to buy some Raid.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, let’s go look at the display.”

(We walked to the display, and I began showing her various items.)

Me: “Here’s something for ants—”

Customer: “No, I don’t need that.”

Me: “Okay. Um, here’s something for roaches.”

Customer: “No, I don’t have roaches.”

Me: “Do you have hornets or wasps or something?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Ma’am, can you tell me a little more about what, exactly, you need the Raid for?”

Customer: “My son has lice.”

Me: “Oh! Oh, God. No, ma’am, you don’t want Raid. You want Rid. Please don’t spray Raid on your son’s head!”

Dolled Up And Priced Down

Pharmacy | Right | November 21, 2014


(I work at a small mom and pop pharmacy. We are having a buy-one-get-one sale on some collectible dolls. A middle-aged female customer is browsing the collectibles. There are six different dolls, each a different color. I happen to be at the counter where they are displayed.)

Me: “Hello, I see you are interested in these dolls.”

Customer: “Yes, but I’m unsure which one to get.”

Me: “Well, we are having a sale on them.”

Customer: “I see.”

Me: “Well, just inform me which ones you decide on.”

Customer: *eyes light up* “I can get more than one!?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “How much for one?”

Me: “$14.50.”

(The customer starts counting on her fingers, then sighs.)

Me: “What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “I only have enough money for three of them.”

(I am confused.)

Customer: “Even with your sale, I would only get be able to get four.”

(I figure out what is the misunderstanding in her logic.)

Me: “How about this, you buy three and I’ll give you the other three on the house?”

Customer: “You will won’t you get in trouble for that?”

Me: “I won’t tell if you won’t tell.”

(I got her dolls and rang her up. She kinda skipped out of the store.)

Automated And Medicated

Pharmacy | Right | November 20, 2014


(We are the busiest pharmacy in the area, and this day is no exception. To make matters worse, we are short-staffed and our delivery truck is several hours late. I am running the drive-thru at about 6 pm, which is about 10 cars deep.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I’m here to pick up a prescription for [Name].”

Me: “It looks like we were out of stock of that medication, but let me check to see if it arrived on the truck.”

(I check the delivery record and we did receive the medication. However, because none of the boxes are put up, and it is the middle of the evening rush, we won’t be able to fill the order for a few hours.)

Me: “Ma’am, we did receive the medication on the truck, but we haven’t had a chance to unload the boxes yet, so if you would like to check back this evening…”

Customer: “I was told it would be ready this afternoon!”

Me: “I apologize, ma’am. Normally we would have it ready then but our truck just arrived less than an hour ago and we haven’t been able to put away the medication yet.”

Customer: “Well, someone should have called me to tell me it wasn’t ready! I drove all the way from [20 minutes away] to get my medicine and it’s not even ready!”

Me: “Are you signed up for our automated calls and text messages?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “…and you got a call or text telling you your prescription was ready?”

Customer: “Well… no…”

Me: “…”

(The customer gave me a dirty look as she angrily drove away.)