Getting Your Religion With Surgical Precision  
 
Hospital, Religion, Texas, USA | Healthy | November 13, 2017  
 
 
(I get a phone call from the hospital where I’ll be having outpatient surgery at in a few days. The nurse is asking me personal questions about my medical history, medicines, and gets to questions about religion. I’m atheist.) 
 
Nurse: “Do you have any spiritual or religious objections that interfere with this surgery?” 
 
Me: “No, ma’am.” 
 
Nurse: “Do you go to church?” 
 
Me: “No, ma’am.” 
 
Nurse: *pauses* “Well, that’s okay. What religion are you?” 
 
Me: “None.” 
 
Nurse: “None?” 
 
Me: “Yes, none. I’m atheist.” 
 
Nurse: *takes long pause* 
 
Me: “Are you there, ma’am?” 
 
Nurse: “Do you need prayer?” 
 
Me: “…what?” 
 
Nurse: “Would you like prayer before the surgery?” 
 
Me: “No…? I’m fine without prayer. But thanks.” 
 
Nurse: “Have you ever been to church?” 
 
Me: “Yes.” 
 
Nurse: *long pause, then whispered* “Well, that’s okay.” 
 
(We continued after that without any problems or weird pauses.) 
 
 
 
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