Yeah, Definitely Contraindicated
 

Yeah, Definitely Contraindicated

Pharmacy | | Right | April 21, 2009


(A patient walks up to the pick up window looking like he just came from the emergency room.)

Me: “Hello, sir, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I wanna drop this off…” *hands me an ER prescription*

Me: “Sir, this is the pick up window. You need to drop off the prescription at the drop off window.”

Customer: “Where’s that?”

Me: “The counter at the entrance to the room with the big sign that says “Drop Off Window’.”

Customer: “Where?”

Me: “You know, you already waited in line so I’ll just take the prescription here. Have you ever had any medication here before?”

Customer: “I don’t know, have I?”

Me: “I’ll take that as a no. Do you have any allergies to medication?”

Customer: “Well, when I mix heroin and battery acid, I get a rash.”

Me: “… I’ll make a note on that.”

This One’s A No-Brainer
 

This One’s A No-Brainer

Pharmacy | Sydney, Australia | Right | February 13, 2010


Customer: “My mother is taking some medication and it is making her sick. Can you stop giving it to her?”

Me: “I’ll have to ask the pharmacist for you. What medication is it?”

Customer: “It’s a little white pill.”

Me: “You don’t know the name of it, sir? We do have many white pills in the pharmacy.”

Customer: “I think it’s for her heart…or her brain

Noah Already Had Two Customers On The Ark
 

Noah Already Had Two Customers On The Ark

Pharmacy | | Right | October 26, 2009


(Note: much of our area is suffering from massive flooding. A man walks into our chain pharmacy, completely drenched from the chest down.)

Me: “Wow, what happened to you?”

Customer: “I tried to go to your other location and it was closed!”

Me: “That location is flooded, sir. There’s about four feet of water surrounding it.”

Customer: “I know! I had to wade all the way up to the door before I found out it was closed! How do you think I got so wet?”

Not A Case Of If, But When…
 

Not A Case Of If, But When…

Pharmacy | | Right | August 20, 2009


(While waiting in line, I overhear a conversation between a teenager and a police officer, both of whom are also waiting. The boy has red plastic cups and ping pong balls in hand.)

Officer: “Can I ask what those are for?”

Teenage customer: “No, no questions.”

Officer: “Where’s the party?”

Teenage customer: “No parties.”

(The kid checks out, and as he’s walking out the door yells “SODA PONG!” and flicks his wrist.)

Officer, to me: “Yeah, I’ll get the call in a couple hours.”

There’s No Pills Like Home
 

There’s No Pills Like Home

Pharmacy | | Right | July 17, 2009


(A patient called in to inquire about her medication she had just picked up.)

Me: *on the phone* “Pharmacy.”

Patient: “Hi, I just picked up this medication, and I think I may have a problem.”

Me: “Is there something incorrect with how it was filled?”

Patient: “No, it’s just that the cream here says to apply locally, and I’m going out of town tonight. I was wondering if I could still use it.”

Me: “Um…yes, yes you can.”

Patient: “Oh, OK good…. Oh…oh God. I just realized…oh my God, just forget I asked! How stupid of me

On The Bright Side, There Are Worse Orifices
 

On The Bright Side, There Are Worse Orifices

Pharmacy | | Right | July 15, 2009


Me: “*** Pharmacy, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, your medicine is defective.”

Me: “Sir, why don’t I get your information so I can take a look at your profile.”

Customer: *gives his name and date of birth*

Me: “I see that the last prescriptions you filled were antibiotic and drops for your ear infection. Are your symptoms still bothering you?”

Customer: “Yes, and how the h*** do you expect me to fit this giant pill in my ear?”

Me: “Sir, that’s an antibiotic tablet. It’s meant to be taken orally.”

High School Dropouts Work On The Pharm
 

High School Dropouts Work On The Pharm

Pharmacy | Boston, MA, USA | Right | June 12, 2010


(I work as a pharmacy tech at a chain pharmacy. I am also currently in pharmacy school and will be a pharmacist one day.)

Customer: “You should be ashamed of yourself!”

Me: “I’m sorry. Can I help you with something?”

Customer: “No! I refuse to be helped by a high school dropout! You should be ashamed of yourself for working where children can see you! You are going to make them think that it is okay to not have an education!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am not a high school dropout. I have a high school diploma and I am currently in pharmacy school working towards a Doctor of Pharmacy. I am going to be a pharmacist one day.”

Customer: “Stop lying! I have never heard of a pharmacist before. You are a high school dropout!”

Manager: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes! Your employee is lying to me! She says she is going to be a pharmacist! That job doesn’t exist!”

(The manager looks at our pharmacist who is near tears from laughing so hard.)

Manager: “Ma’am, see the man over there? He’s the one who filled your prescription. He is a pharmacist.”

Customer: “No he isn’t! He just counts pills! You don’t need school for that!”

Health Care(less)
 

Health Care(less)

Pharmacy | Greenville, SC, USA | Right | May 19, 2010


Me: “That will be $43.78, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh, no it won’t.”

Me: “I’m sorry, did you have insurance? You weren’t in the system. Do you have your card on you?”

Customer: “No, I don’t have insurance. Obama said health care is free.”

Me: “I don’t think that’s how it works, ma’am.”

There’s No Pills Like Home, Part 2
 

There’s No Pills Like Home, Part 2

Pharmacy | New Jersey, USA | Right | April 19, 2010


(My phone number is 1 number off a nearby pharmacy. We get a lot of misdials. My father happens to actually be a pharmacist but he doesn’t work there.)

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “Hello? You just say Hello? How dare you be so rude! You should say “thank you for calling”!”

Me: “Oh, you must be looking for [pharmacy]. You have the wrong number.”

Caller: “Liar! How would you know what store I’m looking for? You’re just trying not to get in trouble. Give me your manager.”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t have a manager. You’ve called a private residence. The number for the pharmacy is close to our number, so we get a lot of wrong calls.”

Caller: “This is outrageous! Give me your manager! I will not be treated this way!”

(At this point the caller was rambling and being rude so I hung up the phone. She called back, and my father answered it.)

Father: “Hello?”

Caller: “Is this the manager? Thank god! I want to know if [drug] can be taken with food! And you should fire that girl that answered before, she was very rude to me! I want to file a complaint!”

Father: “Ma’am, this is not the grocery store pharmacy. You just told off my 14-year old daughter. I happen to be a pharmacist. That drug does not need to be taken with food. However, you should see a doctor about your ears, as you clearly can’t hear a word anyone says.”

Seriously Bad Hair Day
 

Seriously Bad Hair Day

Pharmacy | Melbourne, Australia | Right | March 11, 2010


(It’s 10pm we are in the final motions of locking up, registers closed and lights off. I’m just locking the door.)

Customer: *runs up in a panic* “Oh no! You are closed? It’s an emergency! I really need to buy one thing!”

Me: “Sorry, we’re closed. Maybe you could come back in the morning.”

Customer: “No! I can’t wait that long-this is an emergency! Please help me!”

Me: “OK, I suppose I can help you quickly for an emergency. Do you need antibiotics or paracetamol or something?”

Customer: “I need a packet of hair pins

How To Seize The Moment
 

How To Seize The Moment

Pharmacy | Tallmadge, OH, USA | Right | March 8, 2010


(An elderly woman is having a seizure and obviously 911 was called to the scene.)

Customer: “Excuse me, but when can I get my prescription?”

Me: “Ma’am, this woman is having a seizure and needs medical attention right away.”

Customer: “But I was here before her!”

Rectify The Situation
 

Rectify The Situation

Pharmacy | UK | Right | August 12, 2010


Customer: “Hi there, do you sell rectums?”

Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

Customer: “Rectums. I need a rectum. do you sell them?”

Me: “Why do you need it?”

Customer: “I have some tablets here and it says ‘insert via rectum’ and as I don’t have one, I thought I better buy one.”

Me: “I think I better call the pharmacist in.”

(I call the pharmacist in who explains to the man exactly what a rectum is. He leaves red faced.)

Don’t Hold Your Breath For This One
 

Don’t Hold Your Breath For This One

Pharmacy | Boulder, CO, USA | Right | July 16, 2010


(I am counseling a patient on using an inhaler.)

Me: “Do you know how to use an inhaler, sir?”

Patient: “Nope, never used one.”

Me: “Okay, you’ll want to begin inhaling, and then depress the inhaler as you are breathing in. Then, hold your breath for as long as possible to allow the medication to be absorbed into your lungs.”

Patient: “Oh, sort of like smoking pot…”

Hollywood, M.D.
 

Hollywood, M.D.

Pharmacy | Vancouver Island, BC, Canada | Right | July 1, 2010


(A customer comes to the counter with a bleeding hand.)

Customer: “Have you got a first aid kit back there? I caught my hand and it’s bleeding.”

Me: “Of course. I’ll go get it.”

(I come back with the kit and take out some antibiotic ointment and some bandages.)

Customer: “Oh, I shouldn’t need the bandages.”

Me: “Are you sure? It’s bleeding quite a lot.”

Customer: “Well, that ointment will just fix it, won’t it?”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “That stuff you’ve got in your hand, that’ll just heal it up right?”

Me: “This helps it heal faster and prevents it from getting infected, but it doesn’t heal it immediately.”

Customer: “Don’t you have the stuff that just fixes it right away?”

Me: “I don’t believe they have anything that does that, ma’am.”

Customer: “They do, I saw it before!”

Me: “Where did you see it?”

Customer: “I saw it on some movie. I don’t want that stuff there. I want the stuff I saw in the movie. Just get that stuff and fix this already, will you?”

Medication Frustration
 

Medication Frustration

Pharmacy | Vancouver Island, BC, Canada | Right | June 28, 2010


Customer: “I’m picking up a prescription for [name].”

Me: “Okay. Just a second.”

(I check the drawer for the prescription and can’t find it.)

Me: “When did you order it?”

Customer: “Well, I saw the doctor on Monday.”

Me: “So you came in on Monday?”

Customer: “No, I went to the doctor’s on Monday.”

Me: “Okay, so when did you drop your prescription off?”

Customer: “What do you mean? I went to the doctor.”

Me: “And did he give you a piece of paper that said what drugs you needed?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “That’s a prescription. You need to bring it here so that we know what you need.”

Customer: “But I saw the doctor on Monday! Why didn’t he do it?”

Me: “That’s not his job. That’s what pharmacists are for.”

Customer: “So what, he’s a doctor but he’s not a pharmacist? Look, I saw him on Monday so he probably just did it then. You’re just not looking hard enough. Look for the things done on Monday!”

The Truth Is A Bitter Pill To Swallow
 

The Truth Is A Bitter Pill To Swallow

Pharmacy | Vancouver Island, BC, Canada | Right | June 25, 2010


Customer: “Why isn’t my prescription ready yet?”

Me: “We’re trying to get in contact with your doctor because of a problem with the prescription. You’re profile says you’re allergic to penicillin. Is that correct?”

Customer: “Oh yeah, that stuff is real bad for me!”

Me: “The medication your doctor prescribed has penicillin in it, so we’re trying to get a hold of him to find out what he wants you to take.”

Customer: “Oh, well, he wants me to take the penicillin. That’s what he wrote down, right?”

Me: “Yes, but you said you were allergic to it.”

Customer: “But he’s a doctor, so he knows what’s best. If that’s what he wrote, then just give me that.”

Me: “Well, we’ll check with him first to make sure that it’s safe for you.”

Customer: “Of course it’s safe for me or the doctor wouldn’t have prescribed it! He probably just cured my allergies. Check my old prescriptions; I bet he prescribed me something to cure my allergy!”

Retired & Extremely Dangerous
 

Retired & Extremely Dangerous

Pharmacy | Georgia, USA | Right | October 18, 2010


Me: “Thank you for call [Pharmacy], may I help you?”

Elderly Female Customer: “I would like to get these two of my medications refilled and I want to pick them up tomorrow afternoon.”

Me: “Okay ma’am, that will be fine. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

Elderly Female Customer: “Honey, you can come to my house and do me anytime.”

Me: “I, uh, oh, uh…”

Elderly Female Customer: “I hope I didn’t offend you, but I’m old so I can say things like that!”

Discount Discounted
 

Discount Discounted

Pharmacy | Sherman Oaks, CA, USA | Right | September 29, 2010


Me: “And do you have a free rewards card with us, ma’am?”

Customer: “A what? I don’t know. Maybe. I don’t know.”

Me: “If you think you have one, I can look it up by your phone number?

Customer: “My what?”

Me: *louder* “Your phone number, ma’am.”

Customer: “I don’t have one of those! I don’t think I have one! I don’t have a phone number! I don’t have one!”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, that’s fine. Your total today is $26.74, and just to let you know, you could have saved $5.90 if you had the rewards card.”

Customer: “A discount? My phone number is ***-****.”

Will Power On Aisle 2
 

Will Power On Aisle 2

Pharmacy | Canada | Right | September 28, 2010


Teenage girl: “Do you guys sell that contraceptive abstinence?”

Me: “Abstinence?”

Teenage girl: “Yeah! Abstinence! I read that it’s the only 100% way to not get pregnant!”

Me: “That’s right. But, abstinence is to not have sex. Like abstain from.”

Teenage girl: “Well, that just sucks!”

Misunderstood ‘Total Coverage’
 

Misunderstood ‘Total Coverage’

Pharmacy | Detroit, MI, USA | Right | September 17, 2010


Me: “Our records show you’ve never had a prescription filled here before, so I’ll need an ID and your insurance.”

Customer: “Here’s my ID. I don’t have my insurance on me, but it’s through [car insurance company].”

Me: “Sir, I think that’s your car insurance. Do you have health insurance?”

Customer: “You mean there’s more than one kind?”

Feeling Pooped
 

Feeling Pooped

Pharmacy | Milwaukee, WI, USA | Right | September 12, 2010


(A couple approaches the counter.)

Me: “Can I help?”

Customer: “Yes, can you give me advice about his stool?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t give medical advice. Perhaps you’d like to speak to our pharmacist, or consult your doctor?”

Customer: “No, I’m sure they’re very busy. I just want someone to tell me if it’s normal.”

Me: “The law says I can’t give advice. Let me get the pharmacist.”

Customer: “No, really, I have some here.” *whips out a clear bag of poo on the counter* “See, it’s all gritty. That’s not normal, is it? Do you have pills for that?”

Me: “Ma’am, you might want to take that to your doctor. We can’t accept biological waste.”

Customer: *to her husband* “See, Joe, I told you it was wrong. That’s why I save them.”

Two Pillows On The Couch, Once Daily
 

Two Pillows On The Couch, Once Daily

Pharmacy | Richmond, BC, Canada | Right | January 26, 2011


(I need to make a new profile for the customer’s wife on our computer system, so the customer calls his wife.)

Customer, to wife: “Hello? What’s your card number? It’s for the prescription.”

(The customer relays the card number to me. I ask for her birthday.)

Customer, to wife: “When’s your birthday? No, of course I remember. It’s December 7th!”

(I hear his wife cry out loudly over the phone.)

Customer, to wife: “What? It’s September 22nd?!”

(The customer ends the conversation and hangs up the phone.)

Me: “Are you going to be alright when you go back?”

Customer, to me: “You should warn me next time you have to ask for her birthday.”

Identity Theft Is Childs Play
 

Identity Theft Is Childs Play

Pharmacy | Iowa City, IA, USA | Right | January 14, 2011


(I am a customer in line. There is a woman with a 4 year old finishing up their purchase.)

Me: “Here’s your change.”

4-Year-Old: “Mommy, can I do the scribbles?”

Customer: “No, honey. I paid with cash, not my credit card.”

Looking Down The Barrel Of A Smoking Gum
 

Looking Down The Barrel Of A Smoking Gum

Pharmacy | Madison, WI, USA | Right | January 3, 2011


(I hear this conversation in my checkout line.)

Customer #1: “Oh my God, I love that nicotine gum! It makes my mouth feel all numb.”

Customer #2: “You know that stuff’s going to get you addicted to cigarettes, right?”

Customer #1: “Nah! That stuff gets you un-addicted to them and I don’t smoke. I’m fine!”

Children Get Sick Periodically
 

Children Get Sick Periodically

Pharmacy | New York, New York, USA | Right | November 19, 2010


(A woman walks into the store with her young daughter. Her daughter looks feverish and is sniffling.)

Customer: “Oh look honey, they have candy bars. Go get yourself one while mommy shops for her things.”

(The little girl walks up to the counter and takes a candy bar.)

Me: “Are you feeling okay, little girl?”

Daughter: “My mommy says as long as she gets her tampons, I’ll feel better.”

(The girl suddenly vomits all over the candy bars and on the counter.)

Daughter: “QUICK MOMMY! GET YOUR TAMPONS!”

Ear-Waxing Lyrical About Bad Service
 

Ear-Waxing Lyrical About Bad Service

Pharmacy | London, UK | Right | November 1, 2010


Customer: “I’ve come to pick up my prescription.”

Me: “Oh I’m really sorry, due to extenuating circumstances we don’t have a pharmacist at the moment so legally I can’t give out any prescriptions. But if you wait 5 minutes, a replacement pharmacist will be here and then you can take it.”

Customer: “But I need it. Give it to me!”

Me: “I understand your problem but I would be breaking the law if I gave it to you.”

Customer: “I work in the pharmaceutical industry and I know for a fact you are lying! Give it to me now!”

(The pharmacist arrives and I explain the problem.)

Pharmacist: “I’m really sorry for the inconvenience but my colleague was right, there was nothing she could do. But now that I’m here, you can take your prescription.”

Customer: “You’re colleague is a cruel, moral-less b**** with the intelligence of a moron. She has endangered my life! I shall take this to court and win!” *storms out*

Me: *to pharmacist* “What was in her prescription?”

Pharmacist: “Drops for excessive ear wax.”

Some Sick Mannerisms

Australia, Awesome Customers, Health & Body, Melbourne, Pharmacy, Victoria | Right | August 14, 2018


(I’m working the front register at a large pharmacy when a woman comes up from the pharmacist’s desk with her items. She looks like a zombie with bleary, watering eyes and a red nose. I try to speak gently.)

Me: “Hello there.”

Customer: *clearly super congested* “Ngehh.”

(She dumps painkillers, nasal decongestants, cough medicine, and an inhaler on the counter, and then sniffles and gives me a glum look.)

Me: “Not feeling well today? I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Mrrr..”

Me: “Hopefully some of these will help you feel better!”

Customer: *coughs and whimpers*

(She pays, and then picks up and cuddles the bag of medicine.)

Customer: *sniffle* “Egh.” *sniffle* “Ehh… thangks. Have a dice day.”

Coworker: *to me* “Wow. So, her manners were the only thing not broken? What a nice change.”

Misunderstanding Of A Dollar-Printing Factory
 

Misunderstanding Of A Dollar-Printing Factory

Crazy Requests, Money, Pennsylvania, Pharmacy, Pittsburgh, USA | Right | August 14, 2018


(I am working a morning shift behind my register when a disheveled man walks in and approaches the counter. He mumbles and slurs his words together when he talks, making him very difficult to understand.)

Customer: “I need a—” *incomprehensible*

Me: “Sorry, what was that?”

Customer: “I said I need a dollar!”

Me: *thinking he needs to exchange some bills or coins* “Okay, what do you have on you? And how would you like that?”

Customer: “Nooo, I need a dollar.”

Me: *now thinking he might need cash back* “Okay, you just have you buy something small, like a pack of gum or something. I can’t give out money directly from the register.”

Customer: *growing more frustrated* “NO! You see, I have four dollars. And I need five dollars. So, I need a dollar.”

Me: “Sir, I can’t just give out money from the register.”

Customer: *stares at me with a mixture of anger and confusion*

Me: “I can give you cash back or exchange money, but I can’t just give you a dollar. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “I can’t give you money out of my register.”

Customer: *stares at me again and finally leaves*

(I’m not sure why that dollar was so important, or why it’s so hard to understand that stores don’t just give money out to people who ask.)

Prescribe Some Common Sense And Anger Management
 

Prescribe Some Common Sense And Anger Management

Extra Stupid, Jerk, Non-Dialogue, Pharmacy, USA, Vermont | Working | August 13, 2018


I work in a pharmacy and we have the store divided into sections: Front Store and Pharmacy. When you give us a call, the prompts will tell you to press one number to talk to Pharmacy, and to press another number for general store questions.

I have just finished helping a customer find an item, and my coworker is on break, which means that I’m all alone up front, and that’s when I get a line of customers and the phone starts ringing.

I pick up the phone while one customer is paying and ask if it’s all right if I put them on hold for a moment. The customer yells, “No, you cannot! I’ve been waiting twenty minutes for my prescription and that is unacceptable!”

The woman tries to keep ranting at me, but I firmly interrupt her to tell her that she’s called the front part of the store and that I’ll have to transfer her to the Pharmacy.

Later, I catch one of the Pharmacy techs and apologize for sending the irate customer their way. The tech looks at me and laughs, and tells me that the woman on the phone wasn’t even in our system, and that her friend who dropped off her prescription dropped it off at another pharmacy altogether.

So, not only did that woman reach the wrong part of the store, but also she didn’t even get the right store!

Prescribing You The Ability To Listen
 

Prescribing You The Ability To Listen

Jerk, Minnesota, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | August 9, 2018


(It’s Memorial Day, and my pharmacy is one of the few within a 20-mile radius that is open. My coworker is on break and I am managing the front of the pharmacy.)

Me: “Hi, sir, how I can help you today?”

Customer: “I’m here to pick up two prescriptions for [Customer].”

Me: “All right, sir, it looks like I have one prescription ready for you, but the other prescription — your [Prescription] — we’re still waiting to hear back from your doctor for more refills.”

Customer: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THEY’RE NOT DONE?!”

Me: “There is one prescription done and ready for you to pick up, sir. The other prescription you requested, your [Prescription], isn’t, because we haven’t heard back from your doctor yet.”

Customer: “I HATE THIS PLACE! YOU GUYS NEVER HAVE ANYTHING DONE! I BROUGHT TWO PRESCRIPTIONS IN ON FRIDAY, AND YOU’RE TELLING ME THEY’RE STILL NOT DONE?!”

Me: “Sir, I have one prescription ready for you right now.” *pause* “The other one is still waiting on your doctor for approval, and since it’s Memorial Day, we may not hear back from your doctor until tomorrow.”

Customer: “You guys are horrible! You never have anything done for me! I hate it here!” *walks off*

(After he walked away, I looked back at the screen to see when he brought in the prescriptions. And turns out, he brought them in yesterday, not Friday. But either way, we still had one he could have taken home with him.)

Clearly They Need Drugs
 

Clearly They Need Drugs

Crazy Requests, New York, Pharmacy, Staten Island, USA | Right | August 2, 2018


(A customer comes up through my pharmacy drive-thru and hands me a script for Oxycontin, 30mg, which we do not carry.)

Customer: “I’d like to fill this script here.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t carry this particular medication.”

Customer: “But I want it.”

Me: “We don’t carry this, though. There’s a pharmacy a few blocks from here that does carry this; have you tried filling there?”

Customer: “I don’t want to fill it there. I want it here. You know what? I’m not going to argue with you morons. I’ll come back in an hour to pick it up.”

(I have had no chance to verify any information for this patient — no date of birth, no phone number. The patient comes back in about twenty minutes:)

Customer: “Is it ready yet?”

Me: “No, and we don’t carry this medication.”

Customer: “But I want it now! You had a whole hour to figure it out! Let me speak to your manager!”

(I bring my manager over, and she tells him the exact same thing.)

Customer: “Oh, really? I didn’t know that. Maybe your employee should have told me that before wasting my time

No Spoonful Of Sugar Is Helping This Medicine Go Down
 

No Spoonful Of Sugar Is Helping This Medicine Go Down

Bad Behavior, Florida, Jerk, Patients, Pharmacy, USA |
Healthy | July 31, 2018

(When you come to pick up a prescription, I have to make sure it’s going to the right person or I get written up and, if I get written up enough times, lose my job. This particular pharmacy asks that we verify the address on file, but if they don’t know it, I’ll usually take some other manner of verification if necessary. It’s late, and there’s an hour and a half left to go of a seven-hour day, and all I want to do is go home, so I admit I’m a bit tired. A guy comes up who couldn’t be more than 22, I’d guess, and I smile and go to the register, asking him who he’s picking up for.)

Guy: “My girlfriend.”

Me: “Okay. What’s her name?”

Guy: “[First Name].”

(I need a last name in particular to search, and unfortunately most of the younger crowd usually never give their last name unless prompted. I have no idea why.)

Me: “What’s her last name?”

Guy: “[Last Name].”

(I go over to get it, which doesn’t take long, and return.)

Me: “And what’s her address, please?”

(He gives me this look like I’ve told him that the sky is green or that he’s standing on his head.)

Guy: “I’ve picked up before and they’ve never, ever asked me for her address before.”

(Then he clearly hasn’t picked up for her before at this pharmacy, because we always ask for the address. I say it so often that even when I’m doing things that don’t require it, I sometimes end up saying the words. Sometimes I end up asking them their address before I ask their name, before I can stop myself.)

Me: “Um… We always ask for the address.”

Guy: “No one has ever asked me before!”

Me: “Well, sometimes if you don’t know it, we’ll try another way to verify. Do you know it?”

Guy: “No!”

Me: “Okay, what’s her date of birth?”

(That, he knows. He tells that to me and I’m assured that I have the right person. A new law was passed in July that on certain types and classes of medicines, I now have to ask for a form of ID and enter it into the computer. What he’s picking up falls into that class.)

Me: “I need to see your ID, please.”

Guy: “Why?”

Me: “It’s the law as of the first of July. I have to have an ID.”

Guy: “Does that mean I have to get hers from the car?”

Me: “No, I need yours, since you’re picking it up.”

Guy: “But… does that mean I have to get hers?”

Me: “Um… No. I need yours.”

Guy: “I don’t have mine.”

Me: “Then she has to come in and pick it up.”

Guy: “Why can’t I just go get hers and give it to you?”

(Now I can understand his hesitancy. There’s a big storm that has been going on all day, but neither weather nor annoying teenagers are going to make me break the law.)

Me: “Because it’s her license. Whatever license I have has to be for the person picking up. It’s the law.”

(We go back and forth about this for another minute, to the point that my pharmacist has to come over and back me up, telling him that we have to follow all rules and regulations, and if it’s her license, it has be her. He finally goes out to get her and comes back in. I think this is a wonderful opportunity to do my job right now that she’s here.)

Me: “What’s your address?”

Girl: *throws her ID on the counter* “On file.”

Me: *blink*

(I’ve never had a customer refuse to give their address. Sometimes they’ll pretend to give me a hard time or forget some of the numbers, but I’ve never had someone give me a smart a** remark about it being “on file,” because most have the intelligence to realize that there’s a reason I’m asking for it and it’s most certainly not to hear myself talk. I want to keep my job.)

Me: “I’m sorry; we ask that for verification. If you don’t know yo—”

Girl: *interrupts snottily* “I know my address. It’s [address].”

(She picked up her license from the counter and proceeded to throw it again. I decided I’d had enough of dealing with the twat that was clearly just too lazy to come in and sent her boyfriend in for her, since I could see no legitimate reason for her not to come in besides the rain. And part of me wanted a little bit of revenge for these people half my age giving me a hard time, so I took my time, every bit of it that I could, prolonging the transaction just because they were antsy. As they left, she shot me a glare, snatched up her prescription, and then went to the industrial scale nearby that people use to measure weight and proceeded to jump up and down on it once or twice before leaving.)

This Policy Has Gone To The Dogs
 

This Policy Has Gone To The Dogs

Canada, Employees, Grocery Store, Jerk, Ontario, Pets & Animals, Pharmacy, Revolting | Working | July 31, 2018


(I’m at common, nationwide pharmacy and grocery store when I see a woman walking a small dog down one of the aisles. While the woman is distracted, I watch the dog pee on a shelf filled with cereal boxes. The woman never seems to notice, so as I am heading to the cash, anyway, I decide to tell the cashiers about the dog. There are two cashiers and a supervisor at the front when I get up there.)

Me: “Hi, do you guys know you have a lady in here walking around with a dog?”

Supervisor: “Yeah, it’s fine.”

Me: “Really? So, I can bring my dog in with me next time?”

(Pointing at my dog sitting outside the glass window watching for me.)

Supervisor: “Ah, no. She’s just a friend, so it’s okay.”

Me: “Not really. Your company policy says no dogs except service dogs, so I should be allowed to bring my dog in if that woman can; it’s clearly not a service dog.”

Supervisor: “No, but it’s a really good dog! So, it’s okay for her, but uh, your dog can’t come in. “

(I see nothing wrong with dogs in stores as long as the owners are responsible, clean up if there’s an accident, and carefully watch them. I also have this view of parents with kids. My dog loves her pet store and hardware store walking trips, but this attitude annoyed me. Guess what I didn’t tell them?)

Trying To Pay With A Photo Finish
 

Trying To Pay With A Photo Finish

Extra Stupid, Lebanon, Math & Science, Pennsylvania, Pharmacy, USA | Right | July 30, 2018


Customer: “Excuse me, can you help me with this photo machine?”

Me: “Yes, what’s the problem?”

Customer: “It printed all of my photos, but it’s telling me to bring the receipt to the counter, and it’s not printing a receipt.”

(Our kiosk’s receipt printer hasn’t worked in years, so we frequently have to give this explanation.)

Me: “The summary it printed after the last photo is what we use. It tells you how many pictures were in the order, and we can figure the price out from that.”

Customer: “But I don’t know how much photos cost!”

Me: “Well, they’re 29 cents each, and it says here there were 13 photos, so with that—”

Customer: “But it doesn’t tell me how much it’ll cost, or how many photos there are!”

(She begins counting the photos by hand, so I grab the calculator and work out the cost.)

Customer: “…twelve, thirteen. Now to get the cost. Thirteen times 29 cents…”

Me: “It’ll be $3.77 before tax, ma’am.”

(The customer ignores me and continues to write out the multiplication.)

Customer: “Okay, it’s $3.77! By the way, you don’t sell photo postcards here, do you? Or any of the stores in this square?”

Me: “I’m afraid we don’t; if anyone here does, it would probably be [Other Store], so I’d check there first.”

Customer: “Thank you. I’ll do that!”

(The customer immediately turns from the counter and starts toward the exit.)

Me: “Ma’am, you need to— Ma’am, you need to pay for those!”

Customer: “I did!”

Me: “No… you didn’t.”

Customer: “I paid it right over there, you can check my balance and see!”

(Fearful that she might have tried jamming her card into a slot on the kiosk, I rush around… only to find her pointing at the ATM next to it.)

Customer: “I slid it right here, and it says here you can check my balance to see.”

Me: “This is the store’s ATM, not part of the photo machine.”

Customer: “Well, can I check my balance?”

Me: “Uh… Yes?”

(With another customer waiting, I leave to ring them up while keeping the first customer in earshot while she uses the ATM.)

Customer: “It wants a PIN? It’s never asked for that before!”

(I finish checking the second customer out, right as the first customer walks back up to the counter.)

Customer: “Since when does it want a PIN for anything? Anyway, I guess I’ll trust that I still need to pay for these. But I’m using cash this time, not a card!”

Me: “All right, after tax, that’ll be four dollars even!”

(The customer pulls out a small wad of bills with a twenty and three ones visible. She returns to her purse, and I assume she’s getting a fourth dollar bill.)

Customer: “Feels like it’s been forever since I paid with cash!”

(She does pull out another wad of cash with another dollar bill, only to drop it and continue digging for two more handfuls. By the time she stops, I can see a five, a ten, a twenty, and far more ones than needed to pay for the pictures.)

Me: “Ma’am, you… have enough to pay for this…”

(Paying no attention to me, she begins straightening out some of the ones, the five, and the twenty. After she’s stacked twelve of them up, she sighs and slides me the ten.)

Customer: “Oh, just take it out of the ten, then.”

Me: “Um… Okay… And six dollars is your change!”

Customer: “Whew, never a dull moment, is there?”

Me: “Nope!”

The Couponator 7: The Forgotten Coupon
 

The Couponator 7: The Forgotten Coupon

At The Checkout, Coupon, Kentucky, Pharmacy, USA | Right | July 24, 2018


(I’m a cashier at a pharmacy. Unfortunately, due to its rewards program, our chain is a haven for “Coupon Queens” to come buy a cartload of products for $3.00. I mean, do what you gotta do, but sometimes, the couponers get way out of hand. The customer in this story is a notorious regular, and he and his wife always make my coworkers and me go running when they come into the store. The customer, sans his wife, has been chatting to me while I ring him up, going on about saving this and saving that, occasionally snapping at me if I even look at one of the items he’s set aside for a third or fourth transaction. It takes fifteen minutes before I finally get it all rang up.)

Customer: “I’ll bring your cart back in when I get these out to my car. I just… Oh, s***!”

Me: “Is everything all right, sir?”

Customer: “I forgot to use my coupons on this stuff. Oh, my God, my wife is going to kill me. Here, you need to refund all of these so I can do it again and use my coupons.”

Me: “I… I’m sorry, sir. I can’t do that.”

Customer: “Well, why the h*** not? I have the coupons right here; there’s no one else in line right now.”

Me: “Sir, it’s against company policy. I cannot refund your items for full price, and then sell them back to you when you’re using coupons.”

Customer: “Well, I’m going to tell my wife you did this!” *storms out*

On A Check Trek
 

On A Check Trek

British Columbia, Canada, Delta, Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful, Pharmacy | Working | July 16, 2018


(I am at the pharmacy picking up my prescriptions, when the pharmacy technician gestures to the bag of syringes that come with.)

Pharmacy Technician: “Are you wanting these, too?”

Me: “They are part of the order, so yes, please.”

Pharmacy Technician: “I’ll have to check on the price.”

Me: “Okay.” *waits for her to go, she stands there*

Pharmacy Technician: “Do you want me to check the price?”

Me: “Um… Yes?”

Pharmacy Technician: “Okay.” *goes to check price and comes back holding the bag* “$1.49!”

Me: “For all of them?”

Pharmacy Technician: “No, only for one.”

Me: “What’s the price on them all?”

Pharmacy Technician: “I’ll have to check that.”

Me: “Okay.” *waits as she stands there*

Pharmacy Technician: “Do you want me to check that?”

Me: “Um… Yes.”

Pharmacy Technician: “Okay.” *grabs calculator* “$17.88.”

Me: “Total price?”

Pharmacy Technician: “Excluding taxes.”

Me: *really don’t want to ask this* “What is the total, please?”

Pharmacy Technician: “I’ll have to check that.”

Me: *wanting to cry, bang head, scream* “Of course you do.” *waits as she stands there*

Pharmacy Technician: “Do you want me to check that?”

Me: *thinks* “NO, I WANT YOU TO DANCE FOR ME! ENTERTAIN ME! ON YOUR HEAD!” *saying* “Yes, please.”

Going To Have A Date Of Death If You Don’t Get It Right
 

Going To Have A Date Of Death If You Don’t Get It Right

Bad Behavior, Columbus, Extra Stupid, Ohio, Pharmacy, USA | Right | July 14, 2018


(I work in the pharmacy of a regional grocery chain. We require the person picking up a prescription order to give us the patient’s name and date of birth; if they don’t give us the date of birth, we cannot release the prescription order to them. I am doing my scheduled counter rotation when a baby boomer who looks like a redneck Santa approaches. He is talking away on his cell phone.)

Me: “Hi there. Picking up?”

Customer: *pulls his phone away from his face* “Yeah I’m picking up for my mother-in-law. Wife’s after me to get this stuff.”

Me: “Sure thing. What’s her name?”

Customer: “Her name is [Mother-In-Law].”

Me: “And her date of birth?”

Customer: *scoffs* “I don’t know. She’s my mother-in-law. I don’t pay attention to that s***.”

Me: “Unfortunately, our system requires we enter the patient’s date of birth to help prevent prescription theft.”

(The customer quite literally turns very red. I steel myself for an angry tirade.)

Customer: “This is bulls***. Simple mother-f*****…” *storms off, ranting and raving to his wife*

Boss: “[My Name]… what was that all about?”

Me: “He didn’t react very well to me telling him I needed his mother-in-law’s birthdate to release her meds to him.”

Boss: “He was on the phone with his wife, wasn’t he?”

Me: “Yep. Don’t know why he didn’t just ask her.”

How Dare You Stop To Eat?!
 

How Dare You Stop To Eat?!

Comeuppance, Illinois, Jerk, Patients, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | July 6, 2018


(I go to the pharmacy department of a larger than normal location of a major retailer. It’s about 2:25 pm, and the gates to the pharmacy counter are down with a sign apologizing for being closed for lunch. There are about four people ahead of me in line. Though I am in a hurry, I decide to stay since the sign states that they will reopen in five minutes. Four minutes later, the gates reopen, and the pharmacist is at the counter alone, since her support staff hasn’t returned yet. She greets the first man in line.)

Pharmacist: “Thank you for waiting. How may I help you, sir?”

Man: “I’m here to pick up my prescription, under [Man].”

(The pharmacist verifies personal information with the man.)

Man: *as the pharmacist is ringing up the order* “I had to wait ten minutes for you guys to open! It’s just ridiculous that—”

Pharmacist: *cutting the man off, in a tone that is both mockingly concerned, and professional* “Yes, sir, it is ridiculous that I have to work a ten-hour shift, and am only allowed twenty minutes to sit down and eat in the back of this store. I’m so sorry that you had to wait that short amount of time. Your total is [amount].”

(The man said nothing further, refused to make eye contact with anyone, paid, and left. By then, her staff had returned, and the pharmacist went to the back of the work area, immediately answering the phone. The staff made short work of the rest of the people in line, who all were friendly to the workers. I was out the door before 2:40 pm.)

How To Treat Dog-Breath
 

How To Treat Dog-Breath

Canada, Extra Stupid, Ontario, Pharmacy, Strangers, Toronto | Healthy | July 6, 2018


(I am a veterinary technician and sometimes I leave work still wearing scrubs.)

Cashier: “So, you work at the dental office in this plaza, right?”

Me: “Nope, I’m a veterinary technician. I work at the vet clinic over there.” *gesturing*

Other Customer: “What’s that?”

Me: “I’m a nurse for animals.”

Other Customer: “Oh. There’s this mouth-wash I’ve been meaning to try. The stuff from [Human Brand]. Can you tell me if it’s any good?”

Me: “Um… I’m a veterinary technician. I nurse animals.”

Other Customer: “It’s all the same. So, can you tell me if the mouthwash is any good?”

They Need New Glasses As Well As Their Drugs
 

They Need New Glasses As Well As Their Drugs

Dallas, Ignoring & Inattentive, Patients, Pharmacy, Texas, USA | Healthy | July 5, 2018


(I pull into a drive-thru pharmacy to pick up my prescription, and there’s just one car in front of me. It’s ten full minutes before the car in front of me drives off and I can pull up to the window, but I’m not in a hurry, so I don’t really mind.)

Me: “I’m picking up a prescription for [My Last Name].”

Pharmacist: “Okay, let me just pull that up.”

(She’s gone for a few minutes, and I’m starting to think that this is why the line was slow. Obviously, I think, they must have new people there who don’t know what they’re doing. When she comes back:)

Pharmacist: “I’m sorry, but I don’t have any filled prescriptions listed under your name.”

Me: “But I got an email saying my prescription was ready.”

Pharmacist: “I don’t know what to say. We have you in our system from about two years ago, but there’s nothing recent.”

Me: “Can you check again? I got the email, so I know it’s ready.”

(The pharmacist is gone even longer this time, and I’m starting to feel pretty righteously indignant.)

Pharmacist: “No, we don’t have anything ready for you.”

Me: “Look, that just doesn’t make sense. I don’t understand how I can have an email from Walgreens right here saying that my prescription is ready, but you guys apparently don’t have it.”

Pharmacist: *blank stare* “Ma’am, this is CVS.”

(I felt like such a complete moron that I just drove away in embarrassment. Pharmacist, if you’re out there, I’m really sorry I didn’t apologize!)